The Melbourne Skier (Song)

Barry Humphries (1964)

To the tune of 'Good King Wenceslas'

Every season off we go,
Simon, Ross and Stephen,
Spearing up here to the snow,
Deep and crisp and even.
We kicked off with a liquid lunch
Though the frost be cruel,
Drinking Glühwein with a bunch
Of beaut young blokes from skew-ell.

But we weren't in the mood to bash the slopes;
The weather got hot and sunny.
So we steamed to the huts to go the grope
With some little raving bunny.
Tone and Russell, Drew and Bruce,
Sue and Sal and Jude
Drank vodka and tomato juice
Then went outside and spewed.

Bring me glühwein, bring me beer
And a crate of ice-cold tinnies.
Off we hammer every year
In our Volksies and our Minnis.
In our cosy Alpine spot
There you're sure to find us,
Propelling Charlies to the cot
With a queue of blokes behind us.

Buller, Thredbo, Perisher
And Mount Kosciusko,
When the sago's on the slopes
That's where blokes like us go.
If you want to be a man,
The pride of our young nation,
Grab a bird and crack a can
In the land of no complications.

Every season off we go,
Simon, Ross and Stephen,
Spearing up here to the snow,
Deep and crisp and even.
We kick off with a liquid lunch
Though the frost be cruel,
Drinking Glühwein with a bunch
Of beaut young blokes from skew-ell.

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